Published on April 29th, 2013 | by Jason Goldberg
I’m Starting With The Man In The Mirror – Overcoming the Curse of Comparing Yourself to Others
Hey beautiful people! This is Jason Goldberg and You are watching MEometryTV, THE place to be to yearn more, learn more and earn more from your life and business.
Today on MEometryTV, we are going to talk about something that I believe everyone, including myself, has suffered from at one time or another. Its a curse, born from within that can shut down our hopes and dreams, make us feel like we aren’t worthy, deserving or good enough AND that we may never be. This curse, is the curse of comparison, or more specifically the comparison of ourselves with others.
It starts early on in life. From childhood we are “ranked”, either explicitly or discreetly. Grades, athletic ability, dating prowess, work performance, etc. You wanna talk about mind, body and soul, not one of those is safe from us comparing ours with someone elses. And while comparing yourself to others is helpful when trying to model others in order to learn or improve your skill level or if others accomplishments empower you to remove your own mental barriers to achieve, many of us just aren’t objective or kind enough to ourselves to leave it at that.
Many times we look at others not for motivation or to confirm that “if they can do it, I can do it” but instead we punish ourselves by focusing on where they are instead of appreciating how far we have come. We build shame in our hearts and minds because if I am not where someone else is in my career or fitness or family or whatever, there must be something wrong with me OR that person has an unfair advantage OR that person is just SO much better than me. This type of thinking will lead to a lifetime of unhappiness because when and if you do get to that person’s level, there will always be someone else that is ahead of where you think you should be and the jealousy, guilt and shame will all resurface.
There are two habits I’d like to share with you that I believe everyone should practice in order to minimize the thoughts and behaviors that sabotage your success so you can flourish and be happier.
- Comparison of self to…SELF! – Comparing yourself to others, people you may or may not know, who have had experiences, situations, troubles, relationships, beliefs and thoughts that you have no knowledge of and that have certainly been different than yours makes less than no sense. BUT comparing yourself to previous versions of you, can shed light on the progress you have actually made and motivate you to keep on keeping on. A quick story. I went to a narcotics anonymous meeting a few nights ago in support of a great friend. It was a very moving experience and I noticed something really tremendous about everyone who shared about their past experiences and what is going on in their lives now. NOT ONE OF THEM compared their addiction, their sobriety, their progress or their current life situations to ANYONE else, ONLY to themselves. There were stories about how far they have come in the past 6 months or how after a relapse they have really noticed a change in their dedication to their recovery but the focus remained on who they were before, who they are now and who they want to become looking only INWARD for that comparison. To me, that type of discipline, to hold yourself accountable to YOU and to measure the progress that PRESENT day you has made over PAST you is a beautiful thing that we could all work more on cultivating.
- Celebrate your NOW as if it were your IDEAL – By this I mean to practice the habit of appreciation and gratitude for where you are right now in your life! Part of the issue with comparing yourself to others is that you are NEVER truly happy with what you have or where you are because there is always someone else who has just a little or a lot more. IF you were truly thankful, loving and proud of the gifts you have around you right now, would what anyone else has really matter? Listen, I think we should ALWAYS work on developing or getting better in some aspect of our lives, but the driving force behind that improvement should be the intrinsic satisfaction of your ability to learn and grow, to share your gifts with others and to appreciate every bit of progress you make and NOT to see how close you are to beating out someone else.
I want to share this quote with you before we wrap up:
“Do not compare yourself to others but instead ONLY to previous versions of you. That’s the one person you should be trying to impress anyways” –Jason Goldberg
As you know, we yearn, learn and earn exponentially more when we share our gifts with each other. I want to hear from you, so leave a comment below to tell me how you have overcome the comparison trap or if you are currently trying to do so, let me know so we can work through it together. If you loved this video, please subscribe to our youtube channel be sure to share it with your friends.
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Remember that you and your gifts are extraordinary and exceptional. Be You, Do You, and Love You because you know there is only one OF you!
See you next time on MEometryTV!