Published on March 25th, 2013 | by Jason Goldberg
Is that chocolate or poop? – Overcoming uncertainty and self-doubt
Hey all you Creatives and Creators, This is Jason Goldberg and You are watching MEometryTV, THE place to be to yearn more, learn more and earn more from your life and business!
And today we are going to talk about the age old question, is that chocolate or poop? What? You’ve never heard that before? Well then you must not have seen the critically-acclaimed (or not) 2008 comedic masterpiece “Baby Mama” starring Tina Fey and Amy Pohler. In one scene, the mother (Caroline) and her friend (Kate) are talking and Caroline stops her son as he is running through the house when she notices some kind of schmutz on his hand. Caroline asks him repeatedly “Is that chocolate or poop, is it chocolate or poop”, when he doesn’t answer, she decides to lick it and says with a great big smile “its chocolate” to which a stunned Kate blurts out “what if that had been poop?”
So What happened here? Well besides the obvious narrow avoidance of “fecal taste bud death syndrome”, I was sparked by the underlying theme and it is this: Uncertainty is everywhere!
Whether you an entrepreneur, or work for a company, are a student or frankly, are alive, you will have to deal with the unknown at some point or another (or potentially multiple times per day!). We have all felt it, that tightness in your chest and that warm (but not so fuzzy) feeling that paralyzes your body and mind with fear. You know, that overwhelming sensation that you have no clue where or how to start, where to go, or how to overcome this horrible feeling of drowning in the gray zone. You feel powerless, hopeless, out of control.
So how do you get rid of uncertainty, the dark abyss, and get back to your comfy cocoon of calm consistency…YOU DON’T!
Being an entrepreneur myself, I live in the land of uncertainty and for me it may look like this: Where will I find the inspiration for my next video, how do I become known as a subject matter expert, how can I be certain that I can help my clients change their lives and businesses, how on earth will I ever find the time to finish my book?!?! AHHH!!!!!!
So when I get into my manic, uncertain freaked-out-ed-ness zone, here are a few things I do to get the heck out:
1. Redefine “Uncertainty”- First things first, “uncertainty” does NOT mean: failure, loser, worthless, or death. It DOES mean: unpredictable and inconclusiveness. You know what else is unpredictable and inconclusive? The daily weather report.
What if you weren’t able to leave your house you were worried of would become of your life if you didn’t bring an umbrella and it rained. Luckily, you know that if you are wrong about how you prepared for the weather, you can make alternate plans like borrowing an umbrella, you also know it won’t be the end of the world.
In other words, keep in mind that uncertainty is not an automatic death sentence. Once you consciously realize that, you are on the road to recovery.
2. Kill the Spiral! – Your thoughts can be your best friend or your worst enemy. Whenever you are feeling stressed or overwhelmed, the absolute WORST thing you can do is to allow yourself to get into a downward spiral of self-doubt and self-criticism.
Back to my example, what if this was my mind set: “I don’t know what to make my next video about. If I don’t create something great and inspiring, people won’t see me as the expert I want to be seen as. If they don’t see me as an expert, I’ll never be successful. I’ll have to go find a job doing something I hate doing and be miserable just to get a paycheck. My life sucks!”
In a matter of a few sentences, I went from being unsure about a video topic to my life sucks…pretty big jump right? Have you ever done something crazy like this with your internal script?
Don’t let yourself get trapped there! It’s a lonely alley in a bad part of town and you should do your best to stay away. Getting over and through this requires a mind shift into expectations and possibilities that empower instead of discourage. There is an old saying that if you can’t control something, it’s not a problem, it’s a fact of life. Focus only on the things you have some control over.
Another way to help shift your mindset here is to practice mindfulness. Whether through meditation, a hobby, exercising, or some other type of relaxation, practice recognizing and appreciating that you are right where you are, right now. Truly being present in the “now” and focusing on gratitude for what you do have and optimism for what you can become is a great exercise in any stressful situation.
3. And last but not least TAKE ACTION! – This one is crucial but can seem like the scariest of all. It is exactly what our mom in the “chocolate or poop” story did. The fact is that inaction increases doubt and fear. Action on the other hand builds confidence, strengthens your courage and decreases your anxiety. Take a small step, any step. For example, instead of me putting pressure on myself to make the most epic video post of my life, what if I took the small step of brainstorming 5 topics that I thought you, my viewers, may be interested in. Notice, I didn’t say the 5 most supreme topics that ever existed or the one I thought would make my loyal followers pour into the streets proclaiming my greatness for all to hear. I just want to list 5 topics. It is much easier to take action when your goal is incremental and serves your final purpose, even in a seemingly small way.
Plus remember you don’t have to do it alone! I’m sure you have friends or family or a support group or a coach or a mentor or co-worker or professor or someone that you can ask for help, feedback, input, advice. ALL of these things count as taking action.
The longer you live, the more you realize that change is about the only consistent thing we have in this world. You can either allow it to paralyze you, taking up all of your time and energy and making even shorter the already short time we have on this earth or you can learn from it. Learn to be aware of uncertainty and doubt and to shift your thoughts to that of positivity and possibilities. Remember that what comes tomorrow may be trying and difficult or welcomed and empowering. Either way, your ability to recognize, cope, and act will build your character to new levels and ultimately change your life for the better.
As you know, we yearn, learn and earn exponentially more when we share our gifts with each other. I want to hear from you, so leave a comment below to tell me how you deal with uncertainty and what works best for you. If you loved this video, please subscribe to our youtube channel be sure to share it with your friends. Also, don’t forget to head over to MEometry.com to sign up for exclusive email updates and to get insights that I only share with my most engaged peeps!
Remember that you and your gifts are extraordinary and exceptional.
Be You, Do You, and Love You because you know there is only one OF you!
See you next time on MEometryTV
Authentically Yours,
Jason Goldberg
About the Author
Jason Goldberg What does an award-winning serial entrepreneur, a network engineer, a former rapper (who opened for the Wu-Tang Clan), and a previously 332lb man have in common? They are all the same guy! “JG” has helped inspire and empower entrepreneurs and small business owners via executive, life and business coaching. He has also worked with the likes of NASA, Wyndham Vacation Ownership and Northrop Grumman.
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